Life is what you make it. We all learn and grow in time. I believe that we can learn and grow most from the experiences that hurt us. Life is a journey, not a destination. A well-lived life is full of many lessons and good friends to share it with!
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When you care for someone it's hard. This guy is a conniving, alcoholic, emotionally abusive jerk. Wake up and smell the coffee already! Not one thing you say about this guy is positive. There is no understanding why some people are so deceitful and mean. Find a qualified therapist, work on your self-esteem issues, and gather your support network around you. He will never change for the better therefore you just need to leave him, no matter how painful it is. In the long run, the process of healing yourself will return far more than this loser ever will.
The longer you are in a relationship, the harder it is to leave. It sounds like you might be in an abusive relationship. I highly suggest that you look into counseling as you seek to change your life situation (www.safeconnections.org is a great place.) While it's sad that John lost his only child in a car accident, it does not in any way justify his behavior towards you. I am sorry that you have come through this. Ask yourself what is making you stay, write down all the reasons you need to leave and tell friends and family what you are doing so that they can support you.
What to do
Years ago I was woken by a phone call from a guy telling me he was breaking up with me when he knew that I had to be up early for work the next morning. I was absolutely furious. As if that wasn't bad enough, a few months ago, some 5 years after that break up, he looked me up online, discovered where I worked, called my place of employment, and asked for me to "apologize" for his behavior. He set a precedent for selfish jerk behavior that will be hard to outdo.
What's the Worst Way to Break-up WIth Someone?
Wait and see, it'll happen or it won't and the more you pressure her, the worse it'll be. Anyone who cared in your shoes would be concerned but sometimes everyone gets tired or irritable. I would also suggest investing in some condoms, preferably non-latex as those will be hypoallergenic. Be sure to pick up some lubricant as it has been shown to increase sexual pleasure for both parties and reduces the chance for chaffing. Good luck!
You are very young. There is a lot of truth in to the cliche there are a lot of fish in the sea. Hold out for someone you know is into you rather than someone you're unsure of.
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