Dreamerella She's the dummy for liking the guy who's in a relationship and you're the asshole who should stop fucking with this sweet girl's feelings!!!! She deserves better - someone who's emotionally available and able to give her all the love and attention she deserves. Back the fuck off or MAN UP and break it off with your current girlfriend if you feel soooo freaking attracted to this other person!!! Perhaps this girl fulfills an emotional void - something you lack in your current relationship? You really need to examine what's really going on in your current relationship in order to fix it or to throw it away. Some words of wisdom from my beloved Johnny Depp: "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”

Carolina First, sorry for my english... Well, man, you doesn't deserve and doesn't love your girlfriend. Probably, what you feel for the new girl is the ilussion for the new, but, if you go behind the first girl cross in your eyes is so sad for she (girlfriend)... In the other hand, the new girl obviosly doesn't know the meaning of word "respect", cause you doesn't available. There something call KARMA. Remember it!

dummy123 The "Back the fuck off" option. I'm trying to be a better guy, I've been staying away from the second girl, And things are going better with my GF....but I keep thinking about that second girl. Its crazy. We wouldn't even be a good match, and I'm such a good match with my GF. And this is super shallow but my GF is super hot, way more than this other girl, but I am so damn attracted to her , its not even a sex thing I just want to kiss and hold her, to talk to her, I just keep thinking of her and I have to keep talking myself out of trying to find reasons to drop her a line. I think it must just be the excitement, the thrill of getting to know someone new, the roller-coaster of what will she say, what will I say, what will she like, what will she hate, and the passion of wanting her and her wanting me. But the longer its been since I've seen her seems to make it easier. I'm going to continue to keep away and invest more time and attention to my GF. I hope I can get my head back to normal, my GF and I our lives/freinds/family are so entwined It would be life changing to split up, especially since I lucked into being in a relationship with her in the first place, (long story but basically I didn't intend for us to be a big relationship - originally I thought it would just be good to date someone that summer and she seemed interested - little did I know that we would have so much in common, and that she'd turn into such a fox) prior to that all the relationships I had with girls who I thought would be great for long term relationships rapidly turned into disasters. Point being that I have a gut feeling that I want to run off with this second girl, but I think all my Gut feelings in the past proved to be stupid, and in this situation in particular it would be so stupid. I'm just like all those idiot mid life crisis guys looking to find more meaning and thrill in life, through some crazy quick fix. It's getting better, more time apart = less temptation = less dummy ideas

Lewis Heidegger Romantic love is a flame that builds up and dies down, it jumps and twists and can flare up when least expected. You're not stupid or an asshole for feeling an emotion for a girl. That's what romantic love does. You're stupid and an asshole when you don't realize that the new flame isn't as special as the True Love you built over time with your girlfriend. Or your stupid and an asshole for trying to have both at the same time. It doesn't sound like you are doing either of those things. Whatever choice you make, don't look back.

Rissa Bee Love this post, no I've never gotten anyone saying anything to me. Just the i heard you nasty looks. The worst is when someone walks in on you cringe

Syo Glad I don't live near you!

virtuoso soo funny. you go girl:) Just a bit jealous

Lewis Heidegger Maybe hes jealous it was another guy and not him.

Dreamerella I think that the issues are a lot deeper. This woman you love obviously suffered a lot and it's likely she has developed trust and insecurity issues. You promised you wouldn't watch porn and you did. It was a form of betrayal to her - much like a husband who promises to never beat his wife again - but does anyway. Maybe there's an association to her past with your actions that it has deeply wounded her too? Has she had any therapy to deal with the past abuse? I admire your dedication to this person and would suggest seeing a therapist to deal with your own broken heart as you sound very depressed. Maybe you could suggest couple's counselling to Debra if you truly want to make things work between you. Don't give up hope.

blzt Couples therapy is a great idea if she'll do it. You may need to be a little patient but it sounds like she'll come back around. Figure out the porn thing too if you can. Maybe it's not a big deal in your life, but be honest with yourself if you have a problem. Cause if she comes back and you have made a promise you can't keep.... In my experience women see porn much differently than men as to how it affects a relationship. I won't pretend to have the answers but trust me that I am aware of a lot of men dealing with this issue.

Lewis Heidegger I think you haven't been honest with yourself about the situation. In one sentence you talk about it being meant for eternity and then the next sentence you saying how it started as an affair. I think she was a woman that made you feel amazing and special, but that doesn't mean she was and is the only one that can make you feel that way. People want to give you hope and I don't want to steal that from you but I think you have to start protecting yourself a little. Start putting up a little bit of a wall between her and your heart. What can that hurt? If was meant to be she will come back. But you have to let her go either way. If she was truly in an abusive relationship, that isn't something you can't come away with undamaged. She may have a lot of issues to work out. Someone mentioned the pornography perhaps reminded her of past trauma. Well of course it did. But that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. I hope it works out, but encase it never does I think you need to protect yourself. Start preparing to move on. And I think you are taking way too much responsibility for this. It was a little bit of pornography. If she can't love all of you, faults and all, and be able to talk through it with you, then that's not an eternity kind of thing.

Thunderous91 Im sorry fot the length of this. Thankyou all who replied to this. About a month (Nov. 10, 2012) and a half after she broke up with me we didn't have any contact with each other. So I decided to call her and asked how she was and talked a little while as to what she had been up to, how's she was, etc. I told her how much I missed her and asked if there was a chance of reconciliation. She paused a little and then said she didn't know, and give it a little time. After a few days I happened to bump in to her at a local mall and when we started to just chat a little bit, I started to shake nervously and tear up. I apologized for getting a little emotional. She didn't show any emotion and then she told me that she had just mailed me a letter. I asked her if it was good or bad and she just shook her head briefly side to side. So I tried to hold in my emotions and told her okay and to just always remember that she will be embedded in my heart forever. ( She really will... you could never imagine). So we said goodbye and I started walking away and when I got around the corner of a display case I turned around and looked at her for the last time. She looked up and saw me looking at her and kinda just tilted her head, then I turned around and walked away. After I got out of the mall, ( I was doing my 5 mile walk at the time and figured I'd walk thru the mall for the heck of it.) , I broke down while walking back home. I was compelled to text her what was on my mind so I wrote " If I can't ever have you again in this mortal life of mine, I will chase and hunt you down in heaven and pour my unconditional love all over your soul for eternity, I'll always love you Debra" I received her letter a few days later and she basically said that we were done forever, she admitted that she was in part responsible for breaking us down. I felt my entire world come crashing down on me and sat around the rest of the day. So as best as I could, I started to force myself to accept the fact and to start putting effort into me and try not to think about her anymore. This was absolutely the most toughest emotional dilemma I had ever encountered in my life. Well a few weeks passed and one eve. while I went to buy a cup of coffee, I noticed these red roses on sale and bought a dozen. I drove by her house later that evening and placed them on her cars windshield. The next day in the late afternoon, I received a text from her asking if I did this. I replied with a :-), and she replied "Thankyou". Then I replied to her " Have you ever noticed as roses die, their colors get deeper ? That is how my love gets with each passing day without being with you." No reply. I wasn't expecting one which believe it or not, comforted me in an unexplainable way. The finally at 3:09 in the morning on New Years day, I texted her " Happy New Year, Beautiful". She replied the same, without the beautiful part and that's the last time we were in Amy kind of contact. So here I go, trying to move on with my life every single day. I fully accept the fact that I Love her and will always love her and she'll never love me back. I remind myself of this to aid in my healing process, but I must honestly say that I cant stop thinking about her at times each and every day. She just pops into my head at random times and some times their more difficult to let go and others are not. Its tearing me apart. I go to therapy and have been for 3 years seeing the same therapist to keep myself on an even keel. I will admit, that I have not been anywhere close to that since our breakup. Fighting this has worn me down emotionally and physically. I'm exercising and trying to stay occupied when I'm off work, yet she still comes to my mind with no effort. Ive learned that I can love her so deeply and that she has nor will ever have feelings for me again. All hope is gone, but I still unconditionally love her and always will. Moving on with my life has been very difficult and I know I have to do this. I know I need to put all focus on me and try to forget the past. Its just that it is so hard to do this. I'm not very religious but something hit me about turning to God and I've gone to church during the times when there is no mass and kneel down in the front row and pray. I pray to the Lord to help me get thru this and to move on. I don't know if its helped or not. If it has, I cannot tell yet. Never Say Die. I'm sorry for the length of this bit being kind of a loner and not having a social life, gave me this to spill out my gutz. God BlessBless

joyhenrry ( joyhenrry@yahoo.com ) hello, It is my pleasure to contact you after viewing your profile at which really interest me to have communication with you I will be very happy if you can write me through my email for easiest communication and to know everything about each other and for us to exchange pictures,here is my email (joyhenrry@yahoo.com) i will be waiting to hear from you soon. Yours Joy.