Joe She didn't want to be with you, that's why she was still partying and sleeping around. Since you are a really nice guy she didn't know how to end it without hurting your feelings or seeming like a bitch. The photos gave her the perfect reason to end it without seeming like the bad one. it was always going to happen, the trigger was the uncertain bit.

simplicity you were Mr nice guy and frm what i cud gather she is interested in Mr rough guy!

beddy it seems like she dont know a nice guy.let her be!

Beerme well thanks everybody!! for the comment i hope more people comment bye

Beerme right know i already feel much better ... im giving myself time to know the person i date ... i will not suffer that mistake again

whimsyofemily Years ago I was woken by a phone call from a guy telling me he was breaking up with me when he knew that I had to be up early for work the next morning. I was absolutely furious. As if that wasn't bad enough, a few months ago, some 5 years after that break up, he looked me up online, discovered where I worked, called my place of employment, and asked for me to "apologize" for his behavior. He set a precedent for selfish jerk behavior that will be hard to outdo.

Rissa Bee Technology allows us to say things we normally wouldn't say to someones face. Welcome to Dumpsville? Really? He knows full well if he would have said that face to face he would have needed dentures! As in Julias case her ex used technology to bolster his ego making it seem like she was begging to get him back when all she wanted was closure. Technology; the cowards best friend.

FindYourPlusOne.com Very inspiring post! Good luck with your continued search to find your plus one. xo

Dreamerella I think that the issues are a lot deeper. This woman you love obviously suffered a lot and it's likely she has developed trust and insecurity issues. You promised you wouldn't watch porn and you did. It was a form of betrayal to her - much like a husband who promises to never beat his wife again - but does anyway. Maybe there's an association to her past with your actions that it has deeply wounded her too? Has she had any therapy to deal with the past abuse? I admire your dedication to this person and would suggest seeing a therapist to deal with your own broken heart as you sound very depressed. Maybe you could suggest couple's counselling to Debra if you truly want to make things work between you. Don't give up hope.

blzt Couples therapy is a great idea if she'll do it. You may need to be a little patient but it sounds like she'll come back around. Figure out the porn thing too if you can. Maybe it's not a big deal in your life, but be honest with yourself if you have a problem. Cause if she comes back and you have made a promise you can't keep.... In my experience women see porn much differently than men as to how it affects a relationship. I won't pretend to have the answers but trust me that I am aware of a lot of men dealing with this issue.

Lewis Heidegger I think you haven't been honest with yourself about the situation. In one sentence you talk about it being meant for eternity and then the next sentence you saying how it started as an affair. I think she was a woman that made you feel amazing and special, but that doesn't mean she was and is the only one that can make you feel that way. People want to give you hope and I don't want to steal that from you but I think you have to start protecting yourself a little. Start putting up a little bit of a wall between her and your heart. What can that hurt? If was meant to be she will come back. But you have to let her go either way. If she was truly in an abusive relationship, that isn't something you can't come away with undamaged. She may have a lot of issues to work out. Someone mentioned the pornography perhaps reminded her of past trauma. Well of course it did. But that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. I hope it works out, but encase it never does I think you need to protect yourself. Start preparing to move on. And I think you are taking way too much responsibility for this. It was a little bit of pornography. If she can't love all of you, faults and all, and be able to talk through it with you, then that's not an eternity kind of thing.

Thunderous91 Im sorry fot the length of this. Thankyou all who replied to this. About a month (Nov. 10, 2012) and a half after she broke up with me we didn't have any contact with each other. So I decided to call her and asked how she was and talked a little while as to what she had been up to, how's she was, etc. I told her how much I missed her and asked if there was a chance of reconciliation. She paused a little and then said she didn't know, and give it a little time. After a few days I happened to bump in to her at a local mall and when we started to just chat a little bit, I started to shake nervously and tear up. I apologized for getting a little emotional. She didn't show any emotion and then she told me that she had just mailed me a letter. I asked her if it was good or bad and she just shook her head briefly side to side. So I tried to hold in my emotions and told her okay and to just always remember that she will be embedded in my heart forever. ( She really will... you could never imagine). So we said goodbye and I started walking away and when I got around the corner of a display case I turned around and looked at her for the last time. She looked up and saw me looking at her and kinda just tilted her head, then I turned around and walked away. After I got out of the mall, ( I was doing my 5 mile walk at the time and figured I'd walk thru the mall for the heck of it.) , I broke down while walking back home. I was compelled to text her what was on my mind so I wrote " If I can't ever have you again in this mortal life of mine, I will chase and hunt you down in heaven and pour my unconditional love all over your soul for eternity, I'll always love you Debra" I received her letter a few days later and she basically said that we were done forever, she admitted that she was in part responsible for breaking us down. I felt my entire world come crashing down on me and sat around the rest of the day. So as best as I could, I started to force myself to accept the fact and to start putting effort into me and try not to think about her anymore. This was absolutely the most toughest emotional dilemma I had ever encountered in my life. Well a few weeks passed and one eve. while I went to buy a cup of coffee, I noticed these red roses on sale and bought a dozen. I drove by her house later that evening and placed them on her cars windshield. The next day in the late afternoon, I received a text from her asking if I did this. I replied with a :-), and she replied "Thankyou". Then I replied to her " Have you ever noticed as roses die, their colors get deeper ? That is how my love gets with each passing day without being with you." No reply. I wasn't expecting one which believe it or not, comforted me in an unexplainable way. The finally at 3:09 in the morning on New Years day, I texted her " Happy New Year, Beautiful". She replied the same, without the beautiful part and that's the last time we were in Amy kind of contact. So here I go, trying to move on with my life every single day. I fully accept the fact that I Love her and will always love her and she'll never love me back. I remind myself of this to aid in my healing process, but I must honestly say that I cant stop thinking about her at times each and every day. She just pops into my head at random times and some times their more difficult to let go and others are not. Its tearing me apart. I go to therapy and have been for 3 years seeing the same therapist to keep myself on an even keel. I will admit, that I have not been anywhere close to that since our breakup. Fighting this has worn me down emotionally and physically. I'm exercising and trying to stay occupied when I'm off work, yet she still comes to my mind with no effort. Ive learned that I can love her so deeply and that she has nor will ever have feelings for me again. All hope is gone, but I still unconditionally love her and always will. Moving on with my life has been very difficult and I know I have to do this. I know I need to put all focus on me and try to forget the past. Its just that it is so hard to do this. I'm not very religious but something hit me about turning to God and I've gone to church during the times when there is no mass and kneel down in the front row and pray. I pray to the Lord to help me get thru this and to move on. I don't know if its helped or not. If it has, I cannot tell yet. Never Say Die. I'm sorry for the length of this bit being kind of a loner and not having a social life, gave me this to spill out my gutz. God BlessBless

joyhenrry ( joyhenrry@yahoo.com ) hello, It is my pleasure to contact you after viewing your profile at which really interest me to have communication with you I will be very happy if you can write me through my email for easiest communication and to know everything about each other and for us to exchange pictures,here is my email (joyhenrry@yahoo.com) i will be waiting to hear from you soon. Yours Joy.

Mscherry I think you let him get away with a lot. Moving to another state together is a joint decision, and instead ended up breaking you two apart should have bonded you two closer. He may be depressed and sounds confused. You sound pretty easy going and don't seem to bring up the petty problems... you've done what you can an now the ball is in his court. Maybe he needs to get professional help. You sound like you know what you want, he doesn't.

Ella It is the worst when you love someone and they make you feel unwanted. It is a huge difference than them just not liking you. In your case, it is worse because you dated her but still made her feel unwanted. At any age it is hard to let that rejection go. I had a friend who fell in love with me but being that I have a boyfriend nothing could ever happen but we did hang out and had sooo many great moments until he could not handle it and it complicated things. After weeks of trying to make him realize that we could still be friends he sent me a text message saying that I don't deserve to be his friend. I will never speak to him again. It hurt because I did care about him and he was intentionally mean. He made me feel unwanted just because I did not love him the way he loved me. I strongly believe that you should make every effort to erase the feeling you put in her. She may not want to be your friend and she may tell you that you suck but it will make her feel better knowing that you were wrong. She also may want to be friends again since all this time has passed. You do owe it to her and obviously you care and are remorseful. Show her that side of you.

olawrites4u thanks for this comment I'll seriously make every effort to show her the new me. thanks.

Dreamerella I feel like I can relate to this girl because I totally fell in love with a guy who sounds a lot like you were in my high school days. I would give anything for him to contact me to apologize for the past. Because I've loved him all these years, I would be willing to forgive him. Love is a powerful thing. You will feel a sense of relief telling her the secrets of your heart and if the love between the two of you is strong enough, you might be able to work it out this time around. Love forgives.

Little Miss. If this is something you have been feeling all these years, you owe it to yourself to at least try to speak to her about it.

joyhenrry ( joyhenrry@yahoo.com ) hello, It is my pleasure to contact you after viewing your profile at which really interest me to have communication with you I will be very happy if you can write me through my email for easiest communication and to know everything about each other and for us to exchange pictures,here is my email (joyhenrry@yahoo.com) i will be waiting to hear from you soon. Yours Joy.