What does "trying" mean? Jeans, flats, and hoodies are pretty common fare in this oh-so casual town. The women of the city look cute, they say, but not HOT. "What does it mean to look hot?", I asked. Craig jumped in, "It's the high heels and cute dresses. And get your hair done once in a while. Put on a little makeup. I'm a man, just give me a little cleavage to show me you care. Come on!" He was understandably passionate as he's a man who's been around the dating circuit for some time.
Okay. I get it; men like attractive women and the reverse also applies. What about what's between the ears? I asked Hasher, "Aren't you in love with your wife's sparkling wit? Her personality?", which made Hasher look a little sheepish. Craig offered a save: it's irrelevant. He says, for most men the first two dates are about finding out if you're attractive enough for intimacy.
They assume you're never going to look as good as you do today. If you're not going to try today, they make the logical leap that you're not going to take care of yourself in ten years time.
San Francisco - unlike its big city counterparts like New York or Washington DC - has a very high male to female ratio. Women are complacent because there are lots of well educated men with great prospects. They may not always be Mr. Right but there's another guy to take the last guy's place. Women in San Francisco, they say, are COMPLACENT.