I'm really depressed about my love life, throughout the years I've had a tormented/crazy/teenager love relationship, a stalker relationship (in which surprisingly I wasn't the stalker but I realized I was trying to make the guy from the tormented relationship jealous, dumped this other guy who became the stalker to the point where everyday I would have 43 missed calls, and was afraid of going out of my house). Then I had a yes/no/maybe best friends "relationship", and lots of crushes, hook-ups, and lonely times lovers.
I have no idea how to get out there, into the dating world. I really don't want to pay 40 dollars a month for some dating website, neither want to meet the "love of my life" on the internet. I mean I don't judge, it's cool people that meet like that but it's not for me. I guess, normally people meet at school, through friends or work, I don't understand how people meet outside these circles.
I am an Au pair, this is not my country, I don't go to school here, I just take courses that are for Au pairs and my work is as a babysitter. All my friends are Au pairs and they have other au pairs as friends. I don't like to meet men at bars, they're kind of annoying, and they usually just want to have fun.
Another problem is that I like men that don't like me, all my life I've been always in love with jerks or unavailable men. I'm not pretty, I'm not skinny. I mean I have good stuff, I am intelligent and my sense of humor is not bad at all. I guess maybe I'm not confident about myself, but then again who is?
Part of me wants to go out and date but I'm also really afraid, I know I am not finding someone right outside my door and I know my life is not a romantic comedy, even though I really would like that.
So, the point is, how do you get out there? how do you start dating?