Dear Dr. Internet
So I've been with one girl for a few years. Everything is great (there are minor frustrations, but nothing major.. and from previous experiences I know that every relationship requires some compromise, but we're so compatible there is really very little we don't see eye to eye on). Really its a terrific relationship and everything is perfect . Except all of a sudden I find there's this other girl I've just met who I can't stop thinking about.
Here's the kicker, people tell me that this other girl is (objectively speaking) less beautiful than my GF but I am more attracted to her than anyone I've ever met, everything about her just drives me wild, and I find nothing as exciting as being around her or texting or chatting with her. We flirted casually for a month or so. This other girl knows I'm in a relationship and she (smartly) thinks we should not fool around. I (like a dummy) made a move on her and it was super exciting but its really mixing her up because she (unlike me) is a good person. (p.s. I've recently stopped being sexual with my actual GF because i feel like i'm cheating on this girl)
She's a sweetheart and while she hasn't said this directly I can tell she is not really into fooling around on the side. If I left my GF for her she'd totally be interested in a relationship with me. But if I keep messing with her it will just be taking advantage of all those sweet feelings inside her, and curdling them and her into something she's not.
Okay I'll leave her alone. She's got a lot else in her life right now anyway.
I'm such an idiot.
I'm going to stay with my current GF because we match up pretty perfectly more so than anyone else I've been with. This other girl is incredible but it would be crazy to throw away everything I've build with my GF over the years and the potential lifetime of happiness awaiting us, just because I fall for some new beauty. Besides who knows if this new girl and me would last more than a few months, we're probably not as compatible, and she's got a busy life. But I like to fantasize about taking her to the movies, meeting her parents over the holidays, moving in together, her in a wedding dress smiling and laughing. It feels so good falling in love, and new love is always the easiest, the most exciting. But everyone eventually has to do the laundry, and fight about who cleaned the dishes, and forget to call when you said you would, so the perfect shine always wears off. And if you're lucky there is still a warm wonderful love there to hold you together tight. And I've got that, so I better stop shopping around. I realize it may sound a bit like I think I'm settling.. I am not settling, I am luckier than I have any right to be, and I will never understand why such beautiful intelligent women would ever slum it so.
-Dummy
P.S. Also for a number of reasons I can't go into without revealing too much personal info, I think I've been getting messages from a dear friend from beyond the grave to stay with my GF
Dear Dummy
Don't be such a $$#%ING $%#^@$%#ING @%$@$#%# WITH A HEAD FULL OF &%#@!$$% #$%@$%! YOU $##$@$#ing DUMMY! Talk about selfish, you're hurting everyone involved in this, just imagine the tears of both women anytime you're even thinking of doing anything like this again! You should be quarantined from all women, but the very least you can do is get the hell away from that new girl! You'll be doing her a favour!
And if I was a ghost I'd haunt David Beckham's foot and make it kick you in the nuts!
-Dr. Internet
Comments
She's the dummy for liking the guy who's in a relationship and you're the asshole who should stop fucking with this sweet girl's feelings!!!! She deserves better - someone who's emotionally available and able to give her all the love and attention she deserves. Back the fuck off or MAN UP and break it off with your current girlfriend if you feel soooo freaking attracted to this other person!!! Perhaps this girl fulfills an emotional void - something you lack in your current relationship? You really need to examine what's really going on in your current relationship in order to fix it or to throw it away. Some words of wisdom from my beloved Johnny Depp: "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”
First, sorry for my english... Well, man, you doesn't deserve and doesn't love your girlfriend. Probably, what you feel for the new girl is the ilussion for the new, but, if you go behind the first girl cross in your eyes is so sad for she (girlfriend)... In the other hand, the new girl obviosly doesn't know the meaning of word "respect", cause you doesn't available. There something call KARMA. Remember it!
The "Back the fuck off" option. I'm trying to be a better guy, I've been staying away from the second girl, And things are going better with my GF....but I keep thinking about that second girl. Its crazy. We wouldn't even be a good match, and I'm such a good match with my GF. And this is super shallow but my GF is super hot, way more than this other girl, but I am so damn attracted to her , its not even a sex thing I just want to kiss and hold her, to talk to her, I just keep thinking of her and I have to keep talking myself out of trying to find reasons to drop her a line. I think it must just be the excitement, the thrill of getting to know someone new, the roller-coaster of what will she say, what will I say, what will she like, what will she hate, and the passion of wanting her and her wanting me. But the longer its been since I've seen her seems to make it easier. I'm going to continue to keep away and invest more time and attention to my GF. I hope I can get my head back to normal, my GF and I our lives/freinds/family are so entwined It would be life changing to split up, especially since I lucked into being in a relationship with her in the first place, (long story but basically I didn't intend for us to be a big relationship - originally I thought it would just be good to date someone that summer and she seemed interested - little did I know that we would have so much in common, and that she'd turn into such a fox) prior to that all the relationships I had with girls who I thought would be great for long term relationships rapidly turned into disasters. Point being that I have a gut feeling that I want to run off with this second girl, but I think all my Gut feelings in the past proved to be stupid, and in this situation in particular it would be so stupid. I'm just like all those idiot mid life crisis guys looking to find more meaning and thrill in life, through some crazy quick fix. It's getting better, more time apart = less temptation = less dummy ideas
Romantic love is a flame that builds up and dies down, it jumps and twists and can flare up when least expected. You're not stupid or an asshole for feeling an emotion for a girl. That's what romantic love does. You're stupid and an asshole when you don't realize that the new flame isn't as special as the True Love you built over time with your girlfriend. Or your stupid and an asshole for trying to have both at the same time. It doesn't sound like you are doing either of those things. Whatever choice you make, don't look back.