sg2 It's ok if you don't feel comfortable dating the guy. He's seems pretty aggressive too, seeing that you've already told him bluntly you're not interested in dating him, and he still pursues it. If he can't stand just being a friend, I'd just ignore it and move on.

Ella This is the worst situation but if you really liked him you would love the attention he is giving you. I had a friend who was like my twin. He would talk about how we were going to move in together and we even named our fake kids. That was fine to me because he knew we were just friends. But then any chance he would have to be close to me or hold my hand he would. One time he bought me this really cool gift and I was so excited I hugged him real tight and gave him a kiss on the cheek so the next time he bought me something he expected a full on makeout session and seemed pouty when I denied it. It just ruined every good moment we had. And it got to be real annoying. The best thing for the both of us was to stop being friends. I would tell him that you can't hang out with him as friends either because you don't want to lead him on.

JP70 you are scared of finally been able to settle down, this guys may be in love with you, maybe controlling yes but probably because he is desperate to settle down or thinks that saying those things to you you will feel at ease, don't decide until you ca find out how sincere he is, give him a chance and tell him you want to go slow and if he can stop talking like that you will be able to enjoy his company a little more. good Luck.

Ella Are you in trouble for dating at work or you don't want to deal with the judgement?

Tickled Pink In trouble - no. But that doesn't stop me from seeing different looks on people's faces and knowing that my failed love life is current fodder for gossip around the water cooler!

Ella People focus on others so that for a few mins they can stop worrying about their own problems. Once you stop caring they will too. I would even joke about it you did say that no one thought much of him. My job is gossip central so anytime I heard a rumor about me I confirmed it to be true and added exaggerated details. So you had bad judgement big deal. If you really want them to stop talking the next time you hear them then confess that you definitely did not know what you were thinking but it was a short lived fling because he is not someone you could ever take seriously

Rissa Bee I agree with Ella on this one, gossip is like fire and your actions like oxygen. Show them its not a big deal to you and cut that oxygen off (even if you do feel like its a big deal )

Rissa Bee Love this post, I agree they are lessons to learn for the right guy when ever he comes along

sg2 I'd like to hear about others' definition / experience with "Nice guys"

Marie There is a very famous book called No More Mr. Nice Guy that discusses this whole issue.

Ella I actually posted a blog called do nice guys finish last. I think that you are right about the friendship thing but I agree with sg2 they have to be more forward. I do not want to date a nice guy or bad boy I want to date a guy with confidence, knows what he wants, and will think of me when I am not around. The only way to get out of the friend zone is to be a little distant. although you run the risk of losing her. She may value you as a trusting friend than a boyfriend.

Daniela P. I have to be honest and say that I'm not attracted to nice guys. They usually come off as kind of needy and I want a man who's confident and independent - a man who expresses his interest in me, knows what he wants and isn't always at my beck and call because he has a life to live. I think it can also go the other way - nice guys who became assholes fuck over nice girls who become bitches who fuck over other nice guys and the dysfunctional cycle continues...

Little Miss. What I was saying is that it sounds to me like he is chasing a woman who is indifferent to him. She is chasing another man who is indifferent to her. Are we all just nice people, chasing someone indifferent to us?

Rubinsh I think that real love is about giving and wanting your partner to be happy, and I believe that real giving should be unconditional. If your partner loves you in the same way - you should do just fine :-)

Ella Exactly :) I think most people focus too much on how much their partner is willing to give up for them instead or what they have and are currently doing but your 100% right the real giving should be unconditional and displayed in love

Rissa Bee Technology allows us to say things we normally wouldn't say to someones face. Welcome to Dumpsville? Really? He knows full well if he would have said that face to face he would have needed dentures! As in Julias case her ex used technology to bolster his ego making it seem like she was begging to get him back when all she wanted was closure. Technology; the cowards best friend.